Mary Christmas
by Linneagb
Summary: I have a habit with every Christmas wondering where I'm going to be in a year. I know it's going to be Christmas then too, with all the merry Christmas, junk food and movies you watched way too many times... but still I couldn't have guessed that this Christmas I would have lost everything but my children- or how close I would be to lose them too. AU
1. All I want for Christmas is you

**I was challenged by Precious- passenger to write a fic with main pairing being Carole with either Emma, one of Rachel's dads or Mr. Schue… so this is the first chapter of the result and I believe there are going to be two chapters more. **

**So since it's kind of a Christmas fic I decided to put it on today. I hope you enjoy this, merry Christmas and happy new year. **

**Portrayers for OC's**

**Claire- Kia Pegg  
>Livie- Mia Talerico<br>Ellen- Emma Watson as in the first Harry Potter movie  
>Casey- Jake Short<br>Ibs- Mr. Marr here on fanfiction **

**And oh yeah! English is not my first language! **

I sighed and continued hurrying through the main street downtown while I tried holding onto the bags with the future Christmas gifts and stuff at the same time as I was pulling up my phone to call up my son and make sure that he went by the store and bought dinner for him and his sister so they didn't starve before I came home.

Looking down on my phone to find Finn's number in the contact list I wasn't looking out where I was going. I didn't notice the shopping bags that stood in the middle of the road until I tripped over them and fell without being able to catch myself while the phone was thrown towards the street while a curly- haired man I hadn't met before came and kneeled by me.

"I am so, so sorry. I didn't realize I had put the bags in the middle of the street. Are you okay?" I tried to get a picture of where I had myself and all of the bags before I pushed myself up to sit and bobbed my head up and down. "Good, oh I am so sorry." He took a step to the side and reached for my phone that he handed to me.

"Thanks." I took it and let him help me up. "But really, I'm perfectly fine and it's my fault, I wasn't looking where I was going. Carole by the way…" I reached out my hand and he took it and introduced himself as Will. "Listen I… I'd love to stand here and chat with you but… but there's some place I've got to be and things I need to do before that so… I'm sorry for this. I've got to go."

"Yes, yes of course." Will bent down and picked up a bag. "You dropped this. I guess I'll… I'll see you some time. Or not. I'm sorry for all of… this!" He looked into my eyes and suddenly stuttered for a bit. "Oh… hrm. Well, sorry." He let hear a short laugh and I turned around and walked away to my car and stood packing in the bags in the baggage when I felt someone looking at me and turned around to see Will standing there quite nervously passing his bags from one hand to the other.

"Hey I… I was wondering if there are things that you need to fix some things before you go somewhere else… I also need to fix something before I go somewhere else and one of the things I had to fix is I kind of have to eat dinner and then I was wondering if one of the things that you'd need to fix is dinner because maybe if you do then you'd like to have dinner with me and as a sorry for putting my bags in the middle of the road I'll pay?"

"Really sir." I laughed kind of nervously, trying to ignore the butterflies that were dancing in my stomach. "It wasn't your fault, I wasn't looking where I was going like I should have and… and I've got somewhere to be in not too long so I really…" I didn't know how to finish the sentence when I realized I had read my watch wrong- it was another hour, almost two until I needed to be at William McKinley.

"Well then…" Will laid his head to the side a bit. "I can't leave town before my children come from McDonald's." He made a grimace to express what he thought about McDonald's and then let hear a short laugh. "But I'll need to eat dinner, and I'd rather not do it alone. So… do you want to join me?"

For a moment I wasn't sure about what to answer, yes, no, yes, no, yes no? God help me! Will seemed confused about why I suddenly was so silent when I went through what he had just said in my head- Children?

For a moment a picture flashed by in my head, a picture of a man I had fallen head over heels for- and what had been happening when I wasn't around. He had always seemed to be so sweet- a bit like Will seemed now, and I couldn't do else than recognize this feeling. Although I hadn't been able to do else than let all the feelings fade- which wasn't hard to do when my daughter then four years old sat in front of me, cried her eyes out and showed me bruises he had caused her.

Feeling my heart beating whenever I looked into those eyes or heard his voice I couldn't help but to feel about that time. What if this was all the same? I couldn't! I couldn't let myself fall for one who would treat my children like things without feelings or senses whenever I wasn't around. But if he had his own children…

If he had his own children then maybe he could understand the way I felt about mine. If he had his own children then maybe he would understand why they would always come before him- or anyone else. And… if he…

I shook my head and shook the thoughts off- God, this wasn't about falling in love was it? It was about a dinner about making something right- that actually hadn't been wrong in the first place and then at last I decided that whatever it was or would be- it could just as well be worth a try- and hey! With my budget a free dinner wasn't too bad!

"I'd love to" I answered at last and pushed my hands down in my pockets while I and Will walked down the street and I could only guess that Will- like me what brainstorming and wondering about what to say and where to go.

"Oh…" What felt like suddenly, but at the same time at least a year later, I and Will found ourselves standing at the end of the main road and realized that wherever we were thinking about going we had walked too far. "Ehrm…" Will bit his lip and scratched his neck. "Hot dogs?" He pointed to a wagon right nearby and I thought for a moment… well... why not?

"So…" Will began when we sat down on a stone bench on the street after buying those hot dogs. "..Well…" He sighed as if he was wondering about what to say next. "Well… Oh and then this with starting a conversation…" We both laughed kind of nervously. "No but… tell me something about yourself… Oh I'm so bad at this… name, job family? I'm so bad at this!"

I couldn't help but laugh again. "Sorry… ehrm… Carole Kye… Hudson! Damn it I never get used to Hudson!"

"So you're married?" I sighed. Well yeahno!

"Widow." I said callously.

"Oh, I am so, so sorry! I'm sorry I didn't." I held up a hand to silent him.

"It's okay… it's a long time ago and… the most important part of my life are my children… Claire who's eleven- My beautiful little ray of sunshine and then F…" I didn't get any further until three children came running up to us.

"Dad, dad, dad." The smallest one ran up to Will straight away. "Can I have a bite please?" She showed her biggest smile and climbed up by her dad while two other children- older than her came walking. "Please daddy?" Will looked down at the girl with the long, blonde hair and smiled.

"Didn't you just eat Livie?" He took a bite himself to tease her and smiled mischievously. "I'm just kidding. Here you can have the last couple of bites!" I smiled at "Livie´s" excited screech when she got what was left of the hot dog and happily turned around and then sat leaning back against her dad, silently looking to me, eying me up and down while she chewed.

"Hiya dad" What seemed to be the oldest of the children- the only boy sat down by Livie and lifted her up on his lap while the middle one- a girl who might be the same age as my Claire sat down on the other side of Will on the edge of the bench, and I felt weirdly nervous when I could both feel and see them eying me up and down.

"Who are you?" Livie asked after several seconds of silence. "Are you a new friend of my dad's?" I hesitated, and looked from her up at Will who breathed in while he seemed to wonder about what to say and how to say it in the best way.

"Well, kids. This is my new friend yes Livie. Carole! Carole these are my children. Casey, thirteen, Ellen, eleven and Olivia who is six."

"My name is Livie, or Liv- not Olivia!" Livie grimaced to show what she thought about that name. "And Carole's not a nice name either!" I shook my head and tried to cover that I was laughing. Children were cute weren't they?

"OLIVIA!" Will scolded. "That is not a nice thing to say Olivia Joanne! Now say you're sorry." I tried to show him it didn't matter- just waved it off- I knew it was kind of old- fashioned and therefore not popular with todays' children. And children said what they thought- it really wasn't that much of a big deal!

"I'm sorry…. Do you have any children?" Olivia asked while I pulled my thin coat tighter around me, it didn't help me but I was starting to shiver so whatever could help against the cold spreading under my skin would do it.

"Gosh you must be freezing!" Will stood up and started fingering with the zipper on his own coat before I had the time to protest. "Here, take my coat." He pulled it off and held it up so I could just pull it on. "Not a word! I'll keep warm. Gosh your hands…" My fingers were so cold they had gone all red and I couldn't move them freely enough to close the zipper so Will helped me closing it.

"Do you have any children?" Livie asked, a bit annoyed and I realized it was because she had asked before but not gotten an answer and I nodded while I had to keep quiet until my chin had stopped shivering. "Have you got one who is six years old?" I shook my head. "Oh…"

"But I've got a daughter… her name is Claire, she's eleven like you." I looked to Ellen. "I'm sure she'd like to be friends with you, and she's really nice. And then I have a son…" Without really thinking about it I checked my watch. "…And there is a parents' meeting on his school and I've really got to run, I can't miss it, it's for the parents of the Freshmen's. Thank you for the hot dog. I've got to run. See you!"

I stood up and ran down the road so I was all out of breath when I finally came up to my car and not until I sat and searched through the jacket pockets for my car keys and instead pulled up a photo of the pocket I used to have it in I realized I was still wearing Will's jacket- and that the photo I had pulled up was of a very happy family.

The photo showed Will holding his hand on a woman's shoulder-the woman I didn't recognize, but she was obviously the mother of the children- Will's wife, and Will had his other hand on Casey's shoulder, Casey stood in front of him and Casey had his arm around Ellen's shoulders, Ellen stood by him and in front of their mum, and Olivia stood in front of Ellen and Casey with Casey's other hand on her shoulder.

I sat there for God knows how long and just stared down at the photo. The whole family were wearing smiles and shirts in different shades of brown with blue jeans. Only from looking at the picture I could tell that they all loved each other very much and there was nothing that were to tear them apart- just like any family would be.

And I couldn't help but notice around both one of Will's fingers lying on the woman's shoulder, and the woman's finger lying on Ellen's shoulder- rings!

Yep-I had officially fallen in love with a married man! Well done Carole!

I looked up again and loosened the seat belt, stepping out of the car without really think about what I was doing. I felt tears burn behind my eyes and had to fight down the lump in my throat not to break down crying walking through the main street to walk back to where we had been sitting before to give Will his jacket by.

This whole fall and what had been of winter yet everything had seemed to go wrong, Finn couldn't keep his grades up, Claire couldn't keep her grades up, Finn got in trouble, Claire got in trouble, I had always had depts up to my ears and as of now we were on our way to lose our home. If I couldn't pay it in a week or two people would come and take everything we had and I knew for a fact what would be left was just as three- living in the car doing our best to even keep warm in the cold winter- and I couldn't even let the children know-it was three weeks to Christmas and I just couldn't destroy their happiness before I absolutely had to.

The only thing that would be left was for me to fall in love with a guy that was either a jerk or married- good job to do both. Everything Will had done, everything he had said and the way he had just seemed to be looking at me made butterflies dance in my stomach and… Even if I might have tried to keep it all away I couldn't deny what he made me feel.

But it had barely even been for an hour, two hours ago I hadn't even known the guy so why did it feel so hard? Why did it feel so hard that he would never look at me the way I looked at him and that from my side was just me seeing thing I wished were there. It was nothing but my fault, and yet I hated him for letting me believe everything I had believed.

I walked around the corner in the end of the street and found the benches empty, a young, in love couple were on their way up to the bench and there was nothing left for me to do then to turn around, I almost just wanted to throw the jacket in a bin telling myself I'd never meet Will ever again, but I just had the strangest feeling I would and threw it in the back seat of the car before I just had to drive away towards William McKinley high school not to miss the parents' meeting.

"Sorry I'm… late" I ran into the classroom a good while later, and a good while too late. Then stopped abruptly and silent for a split moment when I recognized Will's curls and knitted west where he sat by the teacher's desk. "I'm Carole Hudson- Finn's mum." Will nodded and handed me some papers and I walked into the back of the classroom where I sat down and did my best to concentrate on what Will was saying and fighting back the tears that were coming back when I saw Will.

"Ibs" Will turned to a skinny, Asian guy standing by the bookshelf and… Ibs… nodded. "I do believe it's time for a break. There'll be coffee or tea in the cafeteria so… will you show these parents there?" The younger man- perhaps in his late teens nodded and walked out so everyone followed him. "Mrs. Hudson, can you wait here for a minute and I'll go through what we talked about before you came."

I had a good feeling it was actually to get his jacket back and that he was using that excuse not to show anyone he already knew me- whatever that might be for. And as discreetly as I could I pulled backwards when he sat down on the other side of the desk from me, and I could just barely see Ibs sit and glance away towards us.

"I'd like to have my jacket back if that is possible!" Will smiled and I nodded. I was going to answer that I had it in the car but couldn't speak just yet, he would just hear my voice being thick- damn it! He wasn't worth this why did I keep on crying? "In your car?" I nodded at his question. "Shall we go and get it, I was going to get something in my car as well anyway."

It was all silent between us two for a long while from that, all until Will pulled up my photo of his pocket walking from the cars back up towards the school. "You dropped this." He handed it back to me. "Finn… Finn he always talks about his sister, Claire this and Claire that… he really loves her you know!" I nodded. "And he really loves you, I never see him as proud as he looks talking about you"

I couldn't help but smile- if Finn was proud of me… well it wouldn't be much compared to how proud I was of him. The little boy he had been had gotten to grow up fast when his dad died and I- without even having went through the funeral yet- found out I was pregnant again. But oh… I wouldn't change a thing if I was given the world for it.

"I found a photo…" I tried my voice to sound steady and discreetly. "… You look like a real happy family. Your wife is beautiful." Will nodded, but suddenly looked kind of distant and when he spoke again his voice sounded callous.

"She's not my wife anymore. A year ago she came in, left the rings at the table, handed me the divorce papers. Said five words- I will not come back- and out the door she went." Will sighed. "I could have lived with never seeing her again- but I just still can't believe she did it to the children. Can you imagine trying to tell a small child that one of her parents won't be back anymore?"

"Yes" It was an unusually short and strong- toned answer from me- almost rude! But I hadn't mean to only… I knew what it felt like! I had been there myself.

"Oh sorry… I forgot!" Will sounded ashamed and I tried smiling at him… well. It was easily happened! "Well… Here we are again, I need to do some paper work here so… the cafeteria is over there, or you can stay with me and I'll have someone to chat with during doing the very interesting paper work" He was talking in a tone that made it very clear that paper work wasn't at all too interesting and he'd rather chat doing it so I walked after him into the room where Ibs was back sitting in a corner with a book and some papers.

"So…" Will walked away from the teacher's desk and came and sat down by the desk I sat on. "Well… Spanish test needs correcting… hallelujah!" He coughed seeming kind of nervous. "So do you speak Spanish?" I gestured- not so much! "Any other language then?" I shook my head. "Well… since the whole world mostly speaks English by now I guess that's okay…"

"Mr. Schuester!" Ibs suddenly spoke up. "I can see what you want to say, and with all that small talk you're making a fool out of the both of you. So either you ask her that now, or I'm going to ask her for you!"

I felt those butterflies starting to dance- worse than ever! What was it that Ibs thought Will should ask me? Could it be? Could it really be? I forced those thoughts away- I couldn't let myself think like that and then be disappointed.

"Ask her what?" Ibs glared at Will meaning, and then looked to me.

"Mrs. Hudson, do you want to join Mr. Schuester over a coffee or for dinner some day? And yes, it's a date!" Will blushed and bit his lip nervously looking to me and reached out his hand and took mine. "Aw, you're so sweet!"

"Ibs…" Will looked back to the younger man. "…Out" He pointed to the door and Ibs started collecting his books and papers. "You don't need those you'll be coming back… out!" Ibs nodded and then half ran out of the room. And just as he came to the door a bald man in flannel shirt came in but Ibs gently pushed him backwards so that I and Will would be alone in the room.

"So well… I would ask but I think Ibs already said it all!" Mr. Schue scratched the back of his head. "Carole, do you want to join me for dinner or a coffee some day?"

I hesitated, it wasn't that I didn't want to! It was just that… well as a first thing, this was Finn's teacher! And I wasn't so sure what he would say about me going out with his teacher! And… even if Finn might be okay with it, would Claire be okay with me seeing someone after what happened to her the last time? Because I knew for a fact that if she wasn't she wouldn't let it show and I couldn't let that happen to her once more!

And even if both Finn and Claire accepted! Then how would Will feel about me when I had to tell him… because if we got to know each other more I would have to tell him that I was on the verge of losing my house, that I worked day and night to earn as much as I possibly could and still made so little with all depts my earlier husband had gotten us and everything, I didn't have enough money to pay for my own coffee?

If he liked me as I liked him right now- how would I feel about him if I saw that he tried to act like he didn't feel bad about the fact that I was a poor workaholic whom worried way too much and couldn't keep still?

Because would he still like me then?

At last I sighed, I had always been both somewhat of a pessimist, but even more of an optimist even if that was getting harder and harder. I would think one negative thought after the other to at last get on the… right or wrong track and think "Why not give it a try?" So at last I sighed slightly and squeezed his hand somewhat in mine.

"Sorry it's taking me so long to answer. It was just a bit of a chock… and…. I'd love to! I'd really love to join you for a coffee! But… I must be realistic too so… let's keep this from my children for a bit yeah? Yours already know me but… I'm not so sure what Finn would think about this and he's quite protective… and if Claire would know then there's not a chance that she could keep it from Finn!"

"Yeah… if you want to wait and see if it will get into a serious relationship then… whatever you want!" Will smiled. "And if that's what you think then yeah- I was going to suggest that too that we hold up a moment with telling Finn." Will looked to his watch and then let go off my hand. "Sorry, now I've got to have this meeting going again. Time for the boring part about classes, the cafeteria and then merry Christmas."

**Sneak peek for chapter two **

**..."Is it a good thing if..." I had to take a deep breath to be able to go on. "If nothing could possibly get worse than what it is right now?"...**

**So everybody, Once again I hope you liked this first chapter of a new story and from me to all of you. A very merry Christmas and a happy new year. **


	2. Blue Christmas

**Precious- passenger: **As I said, I'm still all for Barole- but hey! Writing this fic kind of made me think that Carole and Will are actually cute together! Did you see where I put Burt into the chapter? Sorry I just had to!

**Gleekforever12345: **I'm happy you are. And here is chapter two!

**Kedzie3238: **I'm glad you're liking it! Here is chapter two. Happy continuing of 2015

**I have made polyvore- edits for Claire, Casey, Ellen and Livie. There's a link on my profile to a collection with all edits for this story. **

One by one the days went by until Christmas, and everything seemed to be the same as every Christmas- the kids, mine and everyone else's were counting down days to get off school and opening lids on advent calendars. Lights and glitter were everywhere, and by the time it was Christmas eve- I was so sick and tired of Christmas food I couldn't think of fruitcake or turkey anymore without feeling sick!

And every day when I woke up I thought "Today's the day… it must be happening today!" About that today was going to be the day when those people came and took everything we had and threw us out of our own home. And every night I stayed up until after midnight only to make sure this wouldn't be the day they came.

At last I started thinking that maybe, just maybe they would have mercy enough to at least hold on until Christmas. And so going on dates with Will started going from me checking my phone every other second to check if something was happening and not paying attention, to just be and actually enjoy myself.

At last, on December the twenty fourth late evening, I heard the knock on the door and I just knew it was them. So I asked the children to wait in the kitchen while I walked into the hallway and opened the door.

"It's Christmas eve gentlemen!" I said to the two men in nice suits standing outside my door. "Please… my children!" It was always worth a try wasn't it? Even though I could see the men weren't changing anything. "I'll fix everything." I stepped away from the door so the men could get in. Then grabbed my children's school bags and got into their room to pack so they would at least have a bit of extra clothes.

I found Finn sitting on his bed with a game console in his hand. "So could we keep anything that we can put into our bags?" He looked up at me and held up the control. I sighed and shook my head- even though I knew how much those games meant to him. "Why not?" I had tried to keep from him what was going on- but it was clear to me now that he knew everything anyway.

"I'm sorry sweetheart." I stroke his cheek and handed him his school bag. "A few changes of clothes and school supplies!" Finn nodded and grabbed his bag while he opened his wardrobe and I packed Claire's things while I fought not to cry, and twice as hard not to show Finn that I was crying.

"It's going to be okay mum!" Finn said, I couldn't have been trying hard enough. "It's going to be okay!" He hugged me with one arm before I took Claire's bag and went into my own bedroom to gather some of my things in a bag. And even though I had told Claire to stay in the kitchen, she must have realized what was going on because I found her in the hallway on her way to tie her shoelaces and pull her jacket on.

Before we all three had to walk out the door I looked up at one of the men that stood in the hallway, and then just shook my head, fought the tears away and walked out pulling on a thin jacket that was what I could take with me not to have the men after me again.

Years ago, when my Christopher- Finn and Claire's father was still alive he had bought some old van from God knows what decade! A few weeks ago I had talked to my father- who had bought it from me for the cheap money it was worth and then I had had it standing in the parking lot of one of my friend's- just because it was what we would have if those men came and took our house and everything and anything that was in it.

I took one of Claire's hands in mine while we were walking down the road. Finn was fourteen years old and as most teenage boys he didn't want to be seen holding hands with me. It was all silent and stayed so all until we climbed into the van and I signed to my friend through the kitchen window but drove away before she had come out and talked me into staying at hers.

It was so late I only had the time to drive away to a parking lot outside a supermarket open twenty four seven. And already when we were there Claire was half asleep so Finn helped me with holding her wrapped up in my coat while I fixed the extra shirts and pillows we had in the back of the car so they both could lie down.

"Oh right." Finn sat up when he had lied down and I sat back in the driver's seat. "Merry Christmas. It's past midnight now!" I nodded and checked the clock that showed a few minutes after midnight on Christmas day. But as I heard Claire's soft, deep breaths mixing with Finn's snoring I leaned forward over the steering wheel. Although- even though I have never in my life fought so hard to cry I just couldn't do it, and so I fell asleep there.

"Mum?" Claire started the next day when I had been into the store and bought bread, ham and cola so we could at least have some Christmas breakfast. "How long are we going to live in this car?" I closed my eyes, not to let it show how hurt I was by her question and by the fact that I couldn't answer.

"Not for too long." I answered at last, whispering so she wouldn't hear my voice breaking and not looking at her. But I should have known that she knew because she reached up and laid her cheek against mine with her arms wrapped around my neck, and without another word she just stayed like that for several seconds.

"It will be okay mum." She said at last and sat down again and helped her brother to fix with the seats so we wouldn't have to stay all Christmas day in this parking lot, folding my jacket that she had had as her only blanket tonight and put it in the baggage to then go and fold of what else we had used as blankets and pillows.

"So… off we go!" Just a minute later I turned the key and hit the gas to drive out in the road. It was still early so barely any cars were out, even though I wasn't so sure where we were going we would probably get there safely without having to put way too much effort into that.

"What's that guy doing?" Finn asked from the back seat and pointed to a car that the driver seemed to only be driving to speed. "That's dangerous!" I nodded at him- it for sure was if he had been speeding like that through the crossroad, even though it was as good as empty on the road driving like that could cost lives.

"Don't worry about it honey." I told Finn. "He's driving down now so it's no danger for us here." I looked at him and his sister half sleeping leaning towards him in the rearview mirror before I looked straight forward and onto the road right forward- unfortunately I didn't keep too much looks towards the sides- not even when we came to the crossroad.

"MUM WATCH OUT" Finn suddenly shouted, and I just had the time to turn my hand and look where he pointed to see the car that was speeding coming speeding towards us and I could just see the driver who had dark hair, white skin and was very skinny, even though I didn't really have the time to react I felt panic shoot through me when it hit the side of our car and we were thrown down onto the snow and grass by the road and tumbled around.

"MUUUUUM"

Claire's shout was one of the kind that makes it feel like the blood freezes in your veins. And I desperately tried to move my head and find her and Finn, who I heard moaning in pain as well, even though his moans were pretty much covered by Claire's panic- filled screams that just made me feel like I wanted to find her and just get to her just to make sure she was alright.

But obviously she wasn't. Because her shouts weren't as strong anymore, and for every time she shouted it got weaker and weaker until I couldn't hear her at all anymore.

"Claire?" I shouted out trying to catch her attention "Claire can you hear me? Stay awake okay honey?" But there was no answer. Even though I could still hear moaning and groaning from my son. "Finn are you okay, hon?" It was another few seconds while I could only hear the moaning from him- despite sirens coming closer and all the other sounds that were around us I could only hear my children. "Finn are you okay? Can you hear me?"

"I can hear you mum." He said at last. "I'm okay, my arm hurts, my head a bit but I'm ok… whoa. There's someone coming now mum." Finn was for sure right, some ambulance had arrived and I spent the next few moments forcing them to admit that I was perfectly fine and I needed them to take care of my children first."

"Carole?" Even though I had actually managed them to do that they still forced me onto a stretcher and when I was pushed into the emergency room which usually was my working place I mostly just wanted to sink through the floor of embarrassment as Jane came running over to me. "Carole. What happened?"

"Car crash. Some idiot speeding hit my car and threw us around… come on let me go I've got to go and check on Finn and Claire." Someone held me down. "No, let me go I need to check on them… Oh come on! My name is Carole Hudson, I'm a nurse here. Today is Christmas day, December the twenty fifth. My children's names are Finn Christopher and Claire Isabella and I need to check on them now…" I wasn't exactly aware that I pushed someone away but I did, stood up and then went to search for my children.

"Worst Christmas ever!"

Finn stated so grumpily when we were together all three again in one of the examine rooms. He sat on one bed, his arm was broken and in a cast, and someone had already stitched up a cut on his forehead. Claire sat in the bed on my other side and half laid down towards the mattress, she was the worst hurt of us but had woken up despite the concussion and now was mostly drowsy.

I closed my eyes when Finn was stating what he was and tried to cover up for how much his words hurt me. I… God! The only thing I had ever wanted was for my children to be happy and safe and then when I maybe couldn't do that anymore I screw it up on the first day in the worst way and the worst day possible.

"Mum" I opened my eyes again when I heard Claire calling out for me and spun around to see that she had sat up and held a hand over her mouth in a move that I knew what it meant and I quickly found a basin on wherever and then held it under her chin pushing her long, brown hair out of her face for it not to get in the way.

"It's okay, it's okay." I had had a hair band around my wrist and tied it around her hair instead so I could have my hand free to rub her back. "Just relax honey. You'll feel loads better!" Claire's breaths had gone short and shallow, and with every new breath I thought that she'd get sick- although she didn't and at last she just sank back towards the cushions again. "Okay…" I put the basin to the side and sat down by her bed and took her hand.

"I wish I could just throw up so I'd feel better later." Claire whimpered and I almost felt forced to take care of her better than I was so I crawled up in the bunk next to her and pulled her as close as I possibly could. "Finn's right! This is the worst Christmas ever!"

Hearing Finn say it was one thing, he had a way with getting grumpy and pessimist when something went wrong. But Claire… she was this kind of person that would be happy and bubbly and super- annoying when everybody else were grumpy so hearing her say it…. I could have sworn I heard my heart break!

"I'm sorry C." I stood up. "I've got to go make a phone call." I pretended to scratch my forehead when I hurried out of the room and went over to the phone that hung in the hallway and put some coins I had had in my pocket in it. And I barely even knew what number I pressed- so when the phone clicked and someone answered the phone it was just as much a surprise to me as it would have been to anyone else.

"Will Schuester?"

"Will?" I had to fight for my voice not to break. "It's Carole… and... I'm sorry I'm calling like this on Christmas day but I- I didn't know who to call. Or who I called!" I took a deep, shaky breath. "And I'm sorry I'm calling with these bad news on Christmas day but I just… I just don't know what is up or what is down!"

"It's okay honey." Will's voice sounded calm- just as calm as it ever was. "What happened?"

"Is it a good thing if..." I had to take a deep breath to be able to go on. "If nothing could possibly get worse than what it is right now?" My voice broke on the last few words. "Will there is so much that have gone wrong the last few days… no the last few months and… and then it all just exploded yesterday and today we were in a car crash and…"

"Car crash? Where are you? Are you alright?"

"Yes, we're at the Lima Memorial Emergency room. Finn broke his arm and got a few cuts, Claire have got some concussion she keeps on getting nauseas, she's also broke her leg but she should be just fine. I haven't got a scratch except for a few smaller cuts and bruises." It was starting to get quite hard to go on. "Will?"

"Yes honey?"

"Is it a good thing if..." I had to take a deep breath to be able to go on. "If nothing could possibly get worse than what it is right now?" I fought hard not to break down and could almost hear how Will started fixing to get the children and come here. "Will… I'm sorry I called like this on Christmas and everything I just… I didn't know where else to call… Are you still there?"

"Yeah I'm here." I could hear Will had started moving around. "Listen honey. I will gather some things, take the kids with me and come there. They can't be home alone on Christmas day so I'll take them with me." It took me about half a second after Will had said he was coming here until I had for real wished that I would have never called Will up and tried to talk him into not coming.

"Really… You shouldn't come here…. Not Christmas" I stuttered one lame excuse after the other about why they shouldn't come here. "Not the hospital, and not on Christmas day. I'm sorry. I just needed to talk to someone. I didn't want to make you come here…"

"I know. But I want to okay. LIVIE, CASE, ELLEN. COME DOWN HERE NOW…. Sorry… We will be there in five. See you." Before I had had the time to say anything else Will had hung up on me and I couldn't keep on arguing as on why he shouldn't come here anymore. But as I put the phone back in the hanger on the wall I couldn't help but to feel weirdly relieved that I would at least not be alone in this- well at least not alone with my two hurt, grumpy children and a group of friends that were so busy they ran around like dizzy hens.

"Listen you guys." When I came back into room 2- 16 Claire was curled up as good as she could on her bunk, while Finn seemed as grumpy as he had before when he said this was the worst Christmas ever, Claire mostly just seemed tired and sick and I climbed up to sit on her bunk and stroke her hair as good as I could between the taping over cuts on her forehead.

"I couldn't be alone in this so I called up a friend even though at first I wasn't perfectly aware of who I was calling. There is this guy I've been dating for the last few weeks and I somehow managed to call up him. So he and his children will be coming here." I told the children. "And I want you to be nice to them, because all of this is not an excuse to be rude okay?" Claire smiled but Finn still seemed as grumpy. Which wasn't helped by the fact that five minutes later William Schuester himself came half running into the room with his three children coming in one after one after him.

"Oh Will I…" I didn't have the time to continue before he had embraced me as hard as he possibly could and didn't pull away until Finn had reacted onto what was happening and started talking.

"Mum?" He panted. "This is your boyfriend." He stood up and looked from me to Mr. Schue and then back to me before he put his head in his hand and started moaning. "No, no, no, no. Ew! Ew! Ew!" I tried to grab onto his arm and have him look at me but before I could he had stormed out of the room and I ran after.

"Kids, stay here." Will more or less shouted to his children and followed me out in the hallway." Carole, Carole… Carole?" He took onto my shirt. "I know you want to talk to Finn but I think that first you need to talk. Can you tell me what happened?" At first I hesitated, I should follow Finn before he had done something stupid. But so I started telling Will the whole story and I just couldn't stop.

"The bank came and took our house. Me and the children have been living in the car since tonight and I was driving… well I don't know where but we saw this speeding car and then suddenly it was so close and I… and I couldn't do anything!" I broke down crying and put my head in my hands while shaking with sobs.

"Hey" Will took me in his arms. "There, there. You're all going to be alright…. It's o…" He hadn't finished the word before I heard the emergency alarm go off, and mostly out of habit I turned towards the signs that showed me what room it was where something was happening- and what number it showed had me freeze.

"Claire." I froze for a moment, then woke up again and ran the fastest I could up towards the right room. Pushing the door open the sight that met me was going to haunt me for the rest of my life. Claire had blood around her mouth and the front of the hospital gown she was wearing. There was one possible way it had ended up like that- and my fear was confirmed when Claire threw up more blood.

"What's going on?" I asked the doctor standing leaned over my daughter. "Jackson what's going on?"

"She's got some bleeding, we got to open up to see what." He pulled up the metal frames just as Claire seemed to black out and slumped backwards against the cushions. "Carole I know you want to come…" He quickly pushed the bunk out of the room and down the hallway towards the lift. "But I think the best thing you could do now is to be there for your son and your friends…" I started protesting but before I had had the time I heard Finn's voice on the other side of the hallway.

"MUM" I turned around to see that Finn was holding the jacket of a man I easily recognized as the man that had been speeding with his car and immediately I felt anger boiling up inside of me. Claire was unconscious, she didn't hear or see me right now so I shot over to the man and used a book I found to hit his head, his shoulders and just about every spot I could reach. Not exclaiming one word before Will pulled me back.

"You might have killed my daughter!"

**Dun, dun, dun, duuuuuuuun, cliffhanger! ****Well… you'll see if Claire will be alright in the next chapter, that will also be the last. I hope everyone had a great new year's and have a good 2015 everybody. **


	3. Merry Christmas baby

**GleeJunkie007:** Yeah I kind of like using the storyline with someone hating their full name. Okay, I like the name Olivia too and I thought it suited her. Yep- wasn't that a mean cliffhanger? "Evil laughing" But here comes the third chapter and it will show if Claire is alright or not.

**Gleeforever12345:** Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. And here comes the last chapter and it will show if Claire is alright.

**The polyvores for the OC's in this story have been moved to a colletion with edits for "Other stories" And there you've got Claire, Casey, Ellen, Livie and… someone who will turn up in this chapter and gave title to the story. **

**And oh… just so you know- I love the name Olivia but… obviously Livie doesn't and that is just for story lines so don't be offended please. **

**So here's the last chapter, I'm sorry I'm not sorry about the cliffhanger in the latest chapter- couldn't help myself. I hope you have enjoyed the whole story and that you will enjoy this chapter. **

"She's got to be okay." Finn was walking back and forth in the OR hallway almost two hours after Claire had been pushed out of our sight and the doctors and nurses disappeared with her. "She's got to be okay, she's got to be okay…" He continued for another few seconds until he suddenly stopped and with eyes wide open he stared towards the door where Claire had disappeared.

"Mum!" I turned my head and saw the doctor. I stood up and grabbed Finn's unhurt arm with both of my hands tightly while Jackson walked closer.

"Claire had a bleeding in her stomach." I grabbed even tighter around Finn's hand. "It burst and…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Skip the talking and just tell us if she's okay."

"It got critical for a while and I thought we'd lose her" Jackson looked serious but so he smiled slightly. "But she's a true fighter! I think she's going to be just fine." I started doing something in between laughing and crying of relief and stepped around so I could reach up and hug Finn. Finn was crying and lied his cheek against my hair, and hearing his sobbing my- somewhere in between chuckles and sobbing turned more and more into sobbing.

"She will be out for a little while." Jackson told us. "And we're giving her loads of painkillers. She's intubated but as soon as she's awake and breathing on her own we will be able to extubate. She's a little trouper" I nodded- she was for certain. "You can come and sit by her bed if you want." I nodded and gestured back to Will and his children stood to show I just needed to say a few words to him first.

"Some doctors came over with these!" Will held up Finn's and Claire's bags. "Finn seems to be alright but Claire's is drenched in oil so you should probably throw it out. I'm sorry." I took Claire's bag, and opened it to see that everything inside was drenched in oil as well- her favorite hoodie, her sweatpants, and the onepiece that made her feel like she honored her dad with being dressed in something printed like the American flag.

I looked the onepiece over quickly, maybe I could try and wash it or… no… there was definitely no hope for it. Her school papers had been covered by a plastic folder and was still good as well as pencils and erasers, except for that only one thing was in the bag- something I must have missed or she had put in her bag before we left. Her dad's old basketball, but there was no air in it and she had folded it to put it in the bottom of her bag, and somehow it only had a few smaller stains.

"She likes basketball?" Will asked while I threw the destroyed things in the dumpster for things that could catch fire easily. I nodded. "Finn's more into football is he?" I nodded again. "Hey… love… do you know what?" I shook my head. "You go to Claire, and I and my kids- we will go out and by Christmas presents for you lot." I started stuttering something. "U- uh. No protests. You guys need something to wear if nothing else. We'll come back here in a few hours. Come here kids."

For a moment I felt bad about telling Will about what had happened with the bank and the van and everything. Maybe I should have just told him we were going somewhere and crashed the car. That wouldn't have made Will so eager about taking care of me and my children, because I could tell he was, and there was no way he was leaving it be.

Just… maybe I could have waited until after Christmas to tell him.

I was told by Jackson were they had moved my daughter, and then walked through the hallway and into a room with one bed with Claire lying on it. Claire wasn't tall like Finn and Christopher, but she had never looked so tiny as she did in that big bed and hooked up to machines that beeped with a tube in her mouth sticking up from her mouth.

"Oh honey." I sat down on one of the chairs by the bed and heard Finn sat down on the other side and almost at the exact same time we took her hands in ours. "Can you hear me?" Claire remained silent and the beeping seemed louder than ever. "Honey if you can hear me." I had to take a moment to breath. "If you can hear me I want you to know that I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry this had to happen… and I promise you… I promise you both that it will get better form now on. Whatever it takes I will find a way to make it all better. I swear I will find a way to make it better for the both of you."

I laid my chin down towards Claire's arm and continued stroking the back of her hand with my thumb. "I promise… I will give you whatever you want and need if… if you just open your eyes for me." I sat up again and stretched out my other hand- moved it carefully not to get stuck in any chords or hoses before I started stroking her hair.

"If you just open your eyes."

I had never experienced ever before that the clock seemed to go so slowly. Every second felt like hours and the whole world seemed to have gone all silent. Despite the beeping of the machines, the ticking of the clock and Finn's snoring- poor thing had fallen asleep with his head on his sister's arm. And as well as the caroling that was heard from somewhere far away everything seemed dead silent.

"Hey." A couple of hours after the Schuester's had left Will came into the room and sat down by me. "How's she doing?" I shrugged- nothing much had changed, my little girl who was usually so full of energy and life and never shut up still laid silent and still on that bunk. "Oh… well I'm sure she'll wake up soon."

"Where are the children?" I asked and for a second I turned away from Claire. Will pointed to the door and where I was looking I could see where Casey sat- he had a blue and black school backpack on his knees and I could see the side of another backpack and Ellen's arm and leg in the chair next to him- the rest of Ellen and Livie were hidden behind the wall.

"I…" I sniveled and dried the tears for what must have been the millionth time in the last hour. "I have been trying to talk to her… you know… we're not sure she can hear it but she might but… every time I've tried I've just broken down and I haven't been able to go on." I sniveled again. "And I can't come up with a good enough story anyway."

"Well then… I once… I was talking to a person to keep him awake after he hit his head and I must have said anything and everything- and sometimes that is better than nothing and not at all so just… say whatever comes to mind if you feel like you want to talk… and if not… then we wait." I saw in the corner of my eye that Will was reaching out his hand and took my empty one in his. "And I'll be here whatever you choose." I turned my head to face Will for a second and hoped that he would be able to see how grateful I was that he was here.

"Claire I…" I turned back towards my daughter whom still laid still and silent. "Do you… Do you remember when you were little- all the other little girls if they as much as stumbled and scraped their knees the tiniest they would cry and whatever else… while you just… you just got right back on your feet, brushed the mud off and kept on going…"

"She seems like a great person your Claire!" I nodded to what Will said- my Claire was alert, sporty and not less kind to just as well animals as to people.

"…And then during your first basketball game you might have been… eight, nine. And… and you had the ball and you fell, and I thought it looked like someone stepped on your hand but before I had the time to run down onto the field you were right back on your feet and not only did you get the ball but you scored. And then when the game was over and your team had won then… then you came up to me and said that your fingers hurt. It turned out that girl had in fact stepped on them-broken two and sprained two others badly but you had just gotten right back on your feet to try again."

I was silent for a moment and just… sat and felt Claire's hand in mine and the tears rolling down my cheeks before I could go on again. "I know you Clairie. I know you're trying to wake up. But you just gotta do what you did that day and even if it hurts just… get right back on your feet and try again. Please honey." I laid my hand down towards the back of her hand again.

But even if I hadn't done that I would have felt her hand moving.

"Claire." I shot up again, not sure if I really had felt her moving her fingers. "Claire honey can you hear me? Can you squeeze my hand?" I lifted my other hand and put it with my other in Claire's. And this time I felt it clearly- she was, if only very, very slightly squeezing my hand, harder by every second and I saw her eyes flutter open. "Oh honey. Will get the doctor please."

Claire looked down and seemed to want to say something but realized she couldn't. And I could see her panic when she started twisting and turning and tried to grip for the tube in her throat. "Sch, sch, sch." I stroke her hair and tried to calm her down just as Finn drowsily sat up. "It's okay, honey. It's okay." It hurt me to do it- but if she'd get a grip of the tube she'd hurt herself and I couldn't let that happen so I took stern grips of her hands and didn't let her move them anything more. "It's okay."

"Miss Hudson." I corrected him- Claire hated being called by her last name. "Oh well, Claire. You had to have surgery and we put a tube in your throat to help you breathe alright. Now when you're awake I only need to check some things and your mum here can pull it out for you. So I need you to be still and calm so I can check these things. Do you think you can sit up?" Claire nodded. "Alright hon. Come here."

The tests to be done only took a few minutes. But it still felt like it took hours and most of all I just wanted to get that freaking tube out of my daughter's windpipe. And I couldn't have been more relived when Jackson finally turned to me and told me I could do it now.

Claire coughed like everyone when the tube was pulled out. But so she could stop and looked up at me. "Mum…" Her voice was hoarse, and barely more than a whisper. But there was still not a doubt about what she said. "Did I miss Christmas?" I smiled and shook my head- of course that would be the first thing she asked. "Good."

"Speaking about Christmas! Wasn't there someone who said we'd get Christmas gifts?"

"Finn!"

"No…" Will laughed. "Children's got them I'll go and get them." Will opened the door and the next second Livie, Ellen and then Casey came in. Ellen and Casey carrying each backpack and Livie a big handbag. And at first Ellen reached her backpack- blue with print in white and brown zipper to Claire and told her to go first and open the bag.

"Awesome!" Claire croaked when she had slowly opened the bag and pulled out a blue plush blanket, a big chocolate bear and a Christmas pyjamas. "Look mum. What a huge piece of chocolate!" I nodded and agreed. "Mum, you go next and open your bag." I shook my head and told her to let Finn do it first and Finn didn't hesitate for a second before he ripped his bag open and poured out what was in it on the bed.

"Oh cool!" He held a big plastic cup shaped like a football with a long straw in front of him along with a pair of headphones and a big candy cane lollipop. "Thanks Mr. Schue." Will just nodded, smiled and waved it off. "Mum come on now, let's see what you got too!" I turned the bag I had on my legs to find the zipper, but still couldn't help but remind myself that one day I was going to pay Will back for all of this- and that will say the next time I had enough of money again.

"Oh wow. They're beautiful." I pulled out two Christmas ornaments of the bag and twisted and turned them to see the whole things before I laid them to the side. "And… oh, you're just the best!" I pulled out a big basket with Christmas cookies and a hot water bottle with kind of a… wrapping knitted Christmas red and white with snowflakes. "I might need some help eating all the cookies though…. Thank you will." I turned to Will. "And thank you Casey and Liv" Livie and Casey sat together, Livie on Casey's lap. "And thank you El… Ellen?"

"And she's gone again!" Ellen sat with a copy of to kill a mockingbird- her favorite book I'd heard, and seemed completely gone from the real world. "Ellen…" Will tried to get his oldest daughter's attention. "ELLEN AMELIA SCHUESTER!" Ellen finally looked up when he shouted her full name but didn't seem to know where she was- or who she was or what she was doing. "Okay, now… it's time for one final Christmas surprise." Will pulled up a key from his pocket and reached it to me. "And it's for you all three."

"You're giving us a key?" Finn seemed confused and kind of disappointed.

"No." Will answered. "That is my key so you'll have to give it back…" Okay, now I was confused! "But I'm showing you this because… I know it's fast forward but… at least until this whole thing is turned right again…. I want you all to me in with me- with us!" My chin dropped- and…. At first I was going to say no because I didn't want to be depending on anyone but… but my children!

Before I had had the time to answer I acted mostly on an instant impulse, handed the key to Finn. Stood up, grabbed Will's shirt and pulled him with me out in the hallway and around the corner so the children couldn't see us.

And then I kissed him

"If I ahd known you were to do that…" Will started when he stepped away from me- and for a moment I was afraid I had messed up. "…I would have given you that key years ago!" I smiled and hugged him tightly. Meaning to say thank you but… I couldn't get one word out. "So is that a yes?" I pulled away again and took his hands.

"If it was only me I wouldn't say yes but… but my children I couldn't… You know what I mean!" Will squeezed my hands in his and I decided to change the subject. "I have this weird habit that… that every Christmas I wonder where I'm going to be in a year- well, I know that it's going to be Christmas in a year too, with all of the merry Christmas's, junk food and movies you watched way too many times but… I know one thing for sure! And that… that I would never have guessed how close I was too losing everything… and there is no way that I could have guessed how happy it all would have made me feel when I knew that my children will be safe so…" I hugged Will tightly. "Thank you."

"So I wonder we're we going to be in a year!"

"I know one other thing… that there is no way I'll be this happy then so let's make the most of this happiness while we can should we?" Will chuckled and laid his arm around my shoulders, and we both turned around and walked towards the same room as before again to talk to the children as well. "Merry Christmas honey."

"Merry Christmas love."

Oh well- I had said that the next Christmas in a year from then there would have been no chance for me to be as happy as I was then and I believed in and that didn't bother me in any way either- even though I could never have guessed that I was wrong. And there was no way that I would have guessed that I would in fact be even happier.

Even though we once again spent our Christmas in a hospital room- but at another ward this time.

During the afternoon, exactly one year after I and Will had been standing in that hospital hallway and talked about where we would be we all were in a hospital room, Claire and Ellen sat on the floor making some clap game, Casey sat in the window seal with Olivia teaching her how to read, Finn stood a couple of meters away from the bed and Will stood right by and seemed exhausted, confused and over the moon with joy at the same time. And on the bed- I sat. And in my arms, I was cradling a baby- our baby.

Two hours old and the perfect accident she laid sleeping in my arms while I cradled her and tried to take in that what we had been waiting for since we saw that extra blue line on a white was finally here- and on Christmas day on top of it all. And even though she might have totally been an accident- and totally a surprise- there couldn't have been one more perfect way to tie our two families into one.

"Come here Finn." I almost whispered and showed him to come closer, Finn carefully moved closer to the bed- he had been somewhat outside and become more and more insecure the last year. I and Will were close, Claire and Ellen, Casey and Livie and… Finn was- even though he was loved just as much as the others- somewhat lonely and outside, that's why I wanted him to be the first of the children to hold his little sister.

"Oh come on honey." I said. "You're not going to break her by coming closer." Finn smiled and carefully walked the last few steps until he stood with his hands on the railing of the bed. "Here… hold out your arms. Just like this." Finn sat down on a chair Will pushed to him- he might have been afraid if Finn stood up he would fall and drop our baby and I didn't protest. "And here…. Support her head, just like that honey."

"Oh…" Finn seemed all… well this was pure magic wasn't it. "Oh mum she's so…" He sobbed. "..She's so beautiful…" He carefully cradled our baby in his arms and didn't say anything for several seconds before he looked up at me again. "Mum? Did you come up with a name for her yet?" I shook my head- we had brought up one name after the other, none of them seemed right. "Well… she's born on Christmas." I nodded. "And noël in French means Christmas… so… if her name was… Mary Noelle… then her name would kind of be merry Christmas." I nodded slowly and looked up at Will.

"Mary Noelle…" I sort of tasted the name. "I like that…" I looked back at Will. "What about you?"

"The perfect name for the perfect baby girl!" He took my hand. "Come here, Ellen, Livie, Casey, Claire… come and meet your baby sister again…" the children all stood up and came and gathered around Finn. "Your baby sister…. Mary Noelle Hudson- Schuester." I sort of….. Laughed…. I was just so happy I… I couldn't help it!

"So her name is cool like… Mary Noelle how cool isn't that…" I turned to Livie. "And my name is Olivia… Ugh!"

**And cut! That's the end! **

**To me it feels kind of rushed but it'll have to do. So well…. Yeah. Mary Noelle- guess why the story is called Mary Christmas! I hope you enjoyed the whole story and that you liked what I came up with and everything… bye, bye. **


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